I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
