He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
