Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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