So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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