Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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