My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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