This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
