you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize
