Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
