careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Even my vagina gasped.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Randomize
