She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize