More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
