I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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