I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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