You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
