does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
