What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize