Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm both gender and math confused
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
