I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is