With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car