I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.