"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
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ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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