He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
