I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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