Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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