I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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