you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
