Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
