so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
