If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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