He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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