Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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