somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?