do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.