big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.