There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.