Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
