She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I woke up under a house in Key West
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
