Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she pinky promised me she was 18
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
