her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
