You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
