adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize