Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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