We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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