At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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