God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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