Me too!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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