i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
