When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
