So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
