just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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