I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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