I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
