Sponge bath it is.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
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He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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