And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize