I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
In other news, I just burned my penis
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now