Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.

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  (603): I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed. http://tfl.nu/bqzz
  Replies (26) Good night (531) Bad night (4348) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.

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  (503): I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt. http://tfl.nu/4dkg
  Replies (33) Good night (3439) Bad night (838) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.

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  (513): you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that. http://tfl.nu/6e0s
  Replies (11) Good night (599) Bad night (4376) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...

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  (916): I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one... http://tfl.nu/z7kq
  Replies (13) Good night (5710) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.

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  (978): He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment. http://tfl.nu/fwul
  Replies (12) Good night (2302) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"

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  (210): when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug" http://tfl.nu/5kj7
  Replies (7) Good night (1512) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".

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  (780): So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned". http://tfl.nu/rmju
  Replies (36) Good night (4737) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?

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  (513): Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done? http://tfl.nu/t5qr
  Replies (13) Good night (2680) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...

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  (605): I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway... http://tfl.nu/fmfe
  Replies (9) Good night (2127) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You almost set me on fire last night.

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  You probably deserved it.

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  (732): You almost set me on fire last night. (1-732): You probably deserved it. http://tfl.nu/ggaf
  Replies (9) Good night (3101) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.

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  (914): They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies. http://tfl.nu/g6fw
  Replies (3) Good night (820) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.

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  (270): My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore. http://tfl.nu/ol80
  Replies (4) Good night (284) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.

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  (269): Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair. http://tfl.nu/xxq4
  Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.

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  (617): The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout. http://tfl.nu/l6bu
  Replies (4) Good night (649) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am

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  (224): I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am http://tfl.nu/pfco
  Replies (1) Good night (284) Bad night (133) Order T-Shirt

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