he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
a bad idea.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
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Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
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If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening