hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.