I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
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On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
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Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling