You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
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I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
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If you need anything just hit me up
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked