You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
