I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
