i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dick very happy bro
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
