I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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