whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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