How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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