thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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