Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
